I'm not ready, but I'm ready
I once heard a mentor say the words "I'm not ready, but I'm ready" to describe doing something that feels scary and out of control, while knowing you are capable of handling those uncomfortable feelings. That has become the phrase I use as a guiding light to let me know that I'm pushing my edge - that zone of "I'm not pushing myself past my limits, and I'm also not staying safe and comfortable. I'm simply taking the next step into my life."
That's how this first blog post feels for me. Every word I type I can feel how someone might judge it negatively. How I might have written it differently if I just knew more - if I were already my imagined perfect future self that I'm striving towards.
Well, it is scary. I do feel like I'm not ready to put these thoughts out there to the world. But I'm not willing to wait for that "ready" because I know that it never really comes until I earn it with the second "ready". So, in the spirit of honoring my incompleteness and flipping the bird to perfectionism, here I am, not ready but ready.